ICal Sync Functionality

Testing my setup with Snow Leopard MBP at home, iPhone at home and Snow Leopard Server on Xserve at the office. I have iCal server setup up on my xserve at my office. I have push notifications enabled for iCal. I created a test calendar on my MBP at home to sync with iCal server and it seems to work fine. However, it does not seem to be syncing in a push fashion to and from my iPhone. I added the calendar to my iphone, and they sync with each other, but not in the "push" sense you would think.
If I put an event on one device, it seems that to get it to show on the other device, you either have to quit the app and restart it - or wait a sufficient amount of time before it appears. This is fairly disappointing, because I want to have confidence that every time I glance at my iCal on the iPhone that it's got the correct information- I plan to have my assistant manage my calendar. We have been doing it now, relying on a $10 utility and mobileme and it works better than our current server setup.
Also tested created an event from the web from home via the pages served by the server and same issues.
I may have misunderstood the iCal functionality? Anyone have any thoughts?

I realized I was in the wrong forum, so I am re-posting this in a Snow Leopard Server forum

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