ICal syncing with mac and iphone problem - duplicating all alarms.

I have a mobile me account linked to my office mac, my home mac and my iPhone and my wife's iphone. I have been using this to sync all my contacts and calendar for 18 months with no problems until just after christmas. It suddenly duplicated all my contacts and all my iCal alarms. To solve it I had to use time machine to take my ical and address book back a few days and then force everything to update from that machine.
This I thought solved it but now three weeks later it has duplicated all my alarms again. Why is this happening and how do I stop it? It does not inspire confidence in this system if it randomly changes things. How do I know it will not suddenly delete something? It is also very frustrating and time consuming to reset all the data back a few days.
Any help or advice would be appreciated.

The synchronization between iCal, MobileMe, and iPhone is one of the biggest embarrassments and disgraces Apple has yet to deal with.
For over a year, I have been battling duplicates with little success. Add to all this MS Entourage, which I had to install last year because Mac Mail doesn't play nicely with Exchange server. (My company uses Exchange for our mail, etc.) To be clear, the duplicate problem existed prior to the addition of Entourage 2008. So you are out of luck, Koolaide Fans; you can't point the finger at MS in this case.
After 6 months of struggling and fighting with Entourage (and because there is no native version of MS Project or Visio for Mac) I finally had to install VM Ware with Windows 7, MS Office 2007, Visio, Project, etc. The MS apps work perfectly under the Windows 7 session. So, I my functionality for business has been restored. However, I am left wondering why I have a Mac if it can't provide me the functionality I need for such basic things as Email, calendars, contacts, and tasks. I am to the point where I am basically doing everything in the VMWare session under Windows.
I am very pleased with my Mac's ability to do video editing, graphics, and sound using Adobe products. But again, I work in mainstream corporate America where 90% of the marketshare is still PC/Windows.
In the end, I am hoping someone from Apple can come forward soon and say "This is EXACTLY how you need to configure your Entourage/iCal/MobileMe/iPhone so that you aren't crippled by duplicates and other nonsense...." It really is ridiculous.

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