ICal will not sync multiple computers

Wow, this has taken a lot of my time today. Mighty unfortunate too. I was extremely busy at work, I have a busy job and my hands in a lot of places. As you can imagine, I live and die by iCal (although I'm liking Things a lot better lately). So I was pretty shocked when I realized that iCal syncing with my iPhone was behaving very strangely - and it took me a while to figure this out but I've since proved it on multiple machines running similar software - MERGE INFO IS ACTING LIKE REPLACE INFO. Since I had some calendar info on one computer, some on another I had to painstakingly go thru each day and match the data. NOT FUN. So I got iCal finally set manually on one computer.
Now before I continue, let me note that both computers are running iTunes 9.2 and 10.6.4, matching data. iPhone is running latest iOS4.0.1. This should work. I have been using this method successfully for two years. I don't really like the merge info option, I wish there was a general SYNC, but that's another story. So I was shocked when I upgraded to iPhone 3GS / iOS4.0.1 (both happened the same day) and my calendar is screwed up beyond belief and won't sync. I'd previously been running iPhone 3G / iOS3.1.1 quite successfully in this manner.
So I got everything manually set on my MBP, and synced my phone. Merged info. Worked.. all info synced over to iphone - Yay! So then I needed to get this info over to my work computer, an iMac, same specs pretty much as my MBP. So I tried the usual merge info... it REPLACED the info on my iMac.
read that? MERGE INFO IS REPLACING INFO ON MULTIPLE MACHINES.
At first I thought something was wrong with my iMac. I went thru forums and tried suggestions, removing preferences, cache, etc. Didn't work.
So I tried the same thing on another machine... Mac Pro at home. It did the same thing as the iMac... hitting Merge info Replaced all my calendar info. Thankfully, my laptop isn't pulling this maneuver.
Why is this happening, what can be done?

Why is this happening, what can be done?
Why: You have a damaged calendar database or corrupt data in SyncServices (the database that handles syncing) on one or more of your devices or on MobileMe. I assume you are syncing using MobileMe?
What: Replace all the calendar data on all devices with one good working copy.
A good read before proceeding is this article on advanced sync troubleshooting: http://support.apple.com/kb/TS2481
How (Read all the way through before attempting. Make backups of all computers before attempting):
__Make one iCal on one computer 100% correct the way you want it to look. This will be your Master calendar.
__Make a backup of this good calendar by clicking on each calendar on the left and going to File > Export > Export, making an ICS file for each calendar. Reserve these incase things go wrong.
__Go to each computer and set syncing to Manually: Apple > System Preferences > MobileMe > Sync > Manually
__Go to each iPhone being synced and delete the MobileMe account being used from Settings > Mai / Contacts / Calendars > Accounts -- Remove the calendar data if prompted.
__On the computer with the Master calendar go to Apple > System Preferences > MobileMe > Sync > Advanced
__Click on each computer in the list at the top of the window and choose "Unregister". Continue this until the window is blank.
__Click done.
__When prompted, delete your unused sync data > Calendars
__Login to me.com and ensure that the Calendars are indeed blank. This can take up to 15 minutes to refresh.
__Once MobileMe shows blank for calendars, on the computer with the Master calendar go to Apple > System Preferences > MobileMe > Sync and turning syncing on for Calendars and set to Sync manually
__Follow this article to reset sync services on all computers affected: http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1627
__On the computer with the Master calendar Go to Apple > System Preferences > MobileMe > Sync > Advanced and click on Reset Sync Data.
__Make the reset go from this computer to the MobileMe cloud.
__Replace the data on MobileMe with the Master data on the computer
__Login to me.com and check to make sure the Calendar now appears online and looks the way it should. This can take up to 15 minutes to appear.
__Once the calendar online shows the correct data, go to each computer being synced and go to go to Apple > System Preferences > MobileMe > Sync > Advanced and Reset Sync data from MobileMe down to the Mac. This will bring the Master calendar down to these computers.
__Re-add the MobileMe account to your iPhone so it too will bring down the Master Calendar.
Hope that helps.

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