ICal won't sync with iCal from other computer and .Mac

Question

I am trying to snyc my ical on my desktop with the ical on my laptop. I use my ical on my laptop most often so its data is most upto date, but I would like to have it so that no matter which one I look at its the same, and if I change something on one it will update on both.
I thought that is what would happen with .Mac and syncing. But when I try to sync my desktop it says that it won't sync the calander because of inconsist data, but it won't tell me what they are.
It says to confirm that your computer's data is valid, (its not, but how do I confirm or not?). Then it says to reset calendars on .Mac in the system preferences when I try to do that it gives me an icon of computer and .mac, and an arrow saying in what direction I'm assuming data will go. I choose .mac, to computer and it still comes up with the same problem.
So how do I fix? Once I fix will it merge data on both or will it always be thinking take the .mac data and replace it? It scares me when it says are you sure you want to do this and its changable if you do. I don't want to loose the data on my laptops calander.
Is there a way to clear my desktop ical, and then sync it and get my laptop's data and start from scratch? And then do mutual merges after that?
It says to check that my info on the computer is correct and then to reset it in .mac preferences. The data on the desktop isn't correct but even if I reset, it won't

Answer 1

I'm having massive problems with syncing via .mac with two local Macs - nothing I have tried has worked as yet and it's currently under investigation with a .mac specialist.
I did used to get the 'inconsistent data' warning but that has somehow disappeared - now I don't get any warnings and .mac says both Macs are synced but I get nothing updated to iCal from either direction...
So I don't as yet have an answer but just to let you know that if you get in touch with Apple they will support you with finding an answer.
In the meantime have a look at these links for more self-help:
http://arstechnica.com/journals/apple.ars/2008/02/25/how-to-truly-reset-your-mac -sync-data
Note that iSync also plays a large part, not just .mac and iCal - you need to 'reset sync data' in iSync/preferences.
Plus some of the help stuff that Apple sent me:
You may need to reset sync data again on .Mac and on all of the computers with which you are syncing.
First, it's important to back up any data that you wish to keep. For more information, please see:
How to back up and restore your important Mac OS X 10.4 files (applies to 10.5 too)
http://www.info.apple.com/kbnum/n301239
Mac OS X 10.5: When to use Time Machine or .Mac Backup to back up data
http://www.info.apple.com/kbnum/n307050
Before proceeding, you may find it helpful to print this email and the above articles so that you can consult them during this process.
Next, using a computer that has Mac OS X v10.5 or later, unregister the other computers, including any Mac OS X v10.4 computers you may be using. (To find out which version of Mac OS X is installed, choose About This Mac from the Apple menu.)
Here's how to unregister the other computers from the computer that has Mac OS X v10.5 or later:
1) Open System Preferences and click .Mac.
2) Click Sync, then click the Advanced button.
3) Click once on one of the computers in the list and click Unregister. Follow the onscreen instructions to unregister the computer. Repeat this step until all registered computers are removed from the list.
4) When the last computer has been unregistered, you will be asked "Would you like to delete unused sync info from .Mac?" Select the boxes next to each of the data types listed and click Delete.
5) Restart the computer.
After unregistering the other computers, sync your data from the computer that has the most up-to-date information.
To add a computer with Mac OS X v10.5 or later to the .Mac sync list:
1) Open that computer's System Preferences and click .Mac.
2) Click the Sync tab.
3) Select "Synchronize with .Mac."
4) Select the data types you wish to sync. Click Sync Now.
5) If you are asked, "What would you like to do for this first sync?", select "Merge" and click Sync. You may have to do this for each data type that you are syncing.
After you have performed the initial sync, you should try syncing again. If you do not receive any errors, you can add additional computers to the .Mac sync list by following these steps on each of the computers:
1) Open that computer's System Preferences and click .Mac.
2) Click the Sync tab.
3) Select "Synchronize with .Mac."
4) Select the data types you wish to sync. Click Sync Now.
5) If you are asked, "What would you like to do for this first sync?", select "Replace data on this computer" and click Sync. You may have to do this for each data type that you are syncing. This will replace the data on the computer with the data that has been synced to .Mac.
I recommend that you add the computers one at a time, confirming each time that syncing is working correctly. To confirm that syncing is working, make a change in one of the data types you are syncing, then perform a sync from the first computer. When that syncing is finished, perform a sync on the second. If syncing is successful, add a third computer, and so on.
Good luck!
Message was edited by: AnngryofMayfair