IChat AV 4.0  issues, Error 8 - read through all the threads...Help needed

SO searched all the threads on Error 8 - in the past my friends and I have always either found the answer or updated the SW and video chat has worked.
I am out in California using T-Mobile account at StarBucks (and other free WIFI locations) I can connect and video Chat with my home with iMac using iChat last (version) update in Tiger. Apple Extreme wireless. I have also been able to connect with Buddy 2 when at home.
Problem ( 1) I cannot connect buddy 1 (with the linksys) directly from my connection.
(Interesting side note: Home connects with Buddy 1, then in that connection I was added to the Video Chat and this worked.)
Note: (2) I cannot connect to Buddy 2 (also with a linksys) directly from my connection.
Note: (3) Buddy 1 can connect to Buddy 2
Note: (4) Buddy 2 travels to Buddy (3) home (also with a linksys) and they connect and add Buddy 1
Problem (5) they try to add me (at T-mobile StarBucks) and cannot connect.
We have systematically tried:
1) QT set to 1.5 - iChat bandwidth set to None
2) tried different ports ( 443) in iChat Prefs,
3) Opened ports on the linksys routers
4) Checked Sys prefs firewall (allow all incoming connections checked)
What should we be looking for?

Do they have Linksys devices that have a Security Page ?
If so have they set it to "Respond to Anonymous Pings" ? as iChat sends a Ping.
I would also go for the UPnP option
10:09 PM Monday; February 4, 2008

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