IChat Bonjour on our network

Hi - I've asked this on the iChat support page and have been directed by an expert to this group.
We have two computers on the same wifi network (airport extreme) both running iChat 4.0.7 (616).
We can see each other on the iChat Bonjour list, but only one of us can initiate a chat. (p.s. Video chats don't work at all... but that's the least of my problems at the moment)
One user consistently gets the error that the other's computer "may be unreachable."
No sharing enabled on either computer.
iChat.app and iChatAgent allowing incoming connections in the Firewall.
We have completely different user names.
We do not appear as shares in the Finder sidebar.
Computer names are not the same.
Port Mapping Protocol is On.
The router is the Airport Extreme. I'm using an Airport Express in Bridge mode to extend the WDS network of the main Airport Extreme (configured in accordance with http://support.apple.com/kb/HT2044?viewlocale=en_US ). That's it for routers.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

Check their computer Short Name, their Address book entry for themselves and if their Firewall is set to be On (And not Set to Allow Essentials in Leopard)
9:42 PM Monday; September 28, 2009

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