Ichat Screen Sharing will not work no matter what I try...

I have read all the forums and can't find an answer. Something that should be so simple such as screen sharing through iChat (as advertised) is virtually impossible. This I can not explain. Especially since video chat works!
Both computers in question here are macbooks, both have leopard, both are or wireless networks. Is the router blocking the connection and if so, why will it allow video chat but not screen sharing?
There is either something real simple that I am missing here, or this is not possible at all.
some things that i have tried:
disabling stealth mode
on the firewall, enabling incoming traffic from ichat
made sure screen sharing is enabled in ichat
made sure the settings were the same on the remote apple computer
tried unchecking everything in the sys pref "sharing"
Both of the parties involved are using the same ISP, this really is mind boggling.
Is this a bug that is being fixed or what? I am not trying to perform a miracle here, but this is getting ridiculous.
If this is a router issue, apple should release some documentation on how to configure ichat screen sharing through your router.
If anyone has had this problem and has a fix, I would love to hear it. Keep in mind I have googled this many times and tried just about every piece of advice that I could find on this.
Thanks

iChat Screen sharing does not as such for the screen bit use the Video/Audio port.
The Documentation was lacking last time I looked.
This one tells you the port changes in Leopard http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=306688 compared to Tiger
Tiger is linked in the first to here http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=93208 where most of the other ports are.
However Screen sharing was not part of iChat 3.
If you do a Quick Look at the .plist(s) you will see the reference to ARD which is Apple Remote Desktop which is what the screen ending part is based on.
This Doc will tell you which ports ARD is likely to use
http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=106439
(It says 5900 and 5988)
This should be allowed through the use of UPnP in your routing device or specifically opened.
Now the not so good news.
I run Little Snitch, A utility that tells you ports and IPs of incoming and outgoing network connections by any app you have.
This has told me that in fact the Screen port seems almost completely random normally in the 50000 range of ports
It may not be all you wnat to hear but I hope it helps.
9:57 PM Tuesday; February 12, 2008

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I am finding it impossible to get Screen Sharing working via iChat. I'm not surprised, as iChat seems extraordinarily balky at doing anything other than text chat. However, what confuses me most about this is that the Connection Doctor 'Capabilities' tab suggests that the net connection for my family members (1024/128) is "too slow" for Screen Sharing - yet I have been using OSX VNC for two years perfectly successfully to do so?
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In System Preferences > Quicktime > Streaming change the Speed to 1.5Mbps
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The VNC app Screen Sharing that Opens form the Finder > Go > Go to Server VNC:// does not include a Audio component.
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For this reason we have been suggesting using UPnP in any modem or router to allow ports.
Apple have not said what ports it uses
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1507?viewlocale=en_US Tiger A/V ports and Bonjour and Jabber
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT2282?viewlocale=en_US Leopard A/V ports (It should say but does not that you still need the Jabber and Bonjour ones if using them).
This doc http://support.apple.com/kb/HT2020?viewlocale=en_US says you need iChat to see at least a connection speed of 128K UP and Down for Screen Sharing.
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I have a weird iChat screen sharing problem that i can't seem to resolve on my Mac Pro. Ever since i got my Mac Pro in early 2008, using the screen sharing feature in iChat has always been flaky. I have never gotten to the point of getting it consistently working. Lately, i have not been able to get it to work at all.
Most of the time, when i choose to share my chat target's screen (or when i share my screen), i would be able to see my chat target's screen and use the mouse for several seconds before the shared screen session is ended. The errors that i am getting are:
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Message was edited by: Changren Yong
The audio and video chat portions of iChat work fine.

I managed to make some headway in my attempts to troubleshoot this problem. I did a fresh Leopard install on one of the drives in my Mac Pro. I then proceeded to update it to 10.5.6. After that, i launched iChat and attempted screen sharing with my Powerbook. The first few attempts failed, with the following symptoms:
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