ICloud account doesn't work with iMessage and Facetime

Very simply my iCould account (Appleid) will not work with iMessage or Facetime. This is affecting my iPad 2, iPhone 4 and Macbook which are all running the most up to date OS version available. I always get the error message "This email address cannot be used for iMessage." when I try to add that address to the "Receive at" list.
I have wasted weeks investigating this and think it may be an issue with the setup of my Appleid. My partner's account will work in all the scenario's I have a problem with and after comparing the accounts using https://appleid.apple.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/MyAppleId.woa/ the difference seems to be that my partners Apple ID and Primary Email Address is also listed as a Verified Alternate Email Address...
While for my appleid only my Gmail address is listed as an alternative...
Apple will not allow me to add my Primary Email Address as an Alternate Email Address.
Has anybody else had this problem and if so how on earth did you fix it. Apple support have not been particularly useful and I would really like to make full use of iMessage and Facetime on my iPhone, iPpad and Macbook.
Thanks
Robyn

I don't think there is much wrong with your set up as I see it. Using the same alternate address as your primary address is not a good idea, if there is something wrong with your iCloud account and Apple need to contact you they can't. I believe (but may be wrong), that for this reason Apple will no longer let you do this and why you get the error message you do. Your partner may have set hers up before Apple made this a requirement.
Are you able to receive email on your phone via your me address, do you have your me address listed alongside your card in contacts, do you have the email address entered as your ID or alternate address in settings > Facetime.

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ICloud account doesn't work with iMessage and Facetime

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