ICloud, iTunes, MobileMe Account Management HELP

Hello,
I am having problems getting my Mac, iPhones, iPad to properly syncronize...
I am trying to sync my:
iMac
iPhone
Wife's iPhone
iPad
Between me and my wife we have 3 accounts:
Wifes iTunes account : [email protected]
My iTunes account: [email protected]
MobileMe: [email protected]
My iTunes account has been our primary account for most content however iCloud will not let me login using my gmail account, I have to use my mobileme account which I just had a trial of and have never really used.
So when I updated all our devices to iOS 5 I am having lots of conflicts with: Find my iPhone, iCloud syncing, iTunes store purchases, apps, facetime etc.
conflicts:
location not updating in the find my iphone app
unable to use facetime whatsoever
unable to make purchases on itunes or app store because my wife's account info got synced to my iphone etc.
I want to use my gmail account since that is the account that has 99% of all my iTunes purchases. Can I use my gmail account with iCloud??
Any help very much appreciated, so far this is very confusing and not working as expected.

Hi,
Delete around 1,000 tracks so that the limit is reduced below 25k.
Hold shift key whilst turning off match. Close iTunes then reopen. Turn on match, you will be asked to add this computer, do so. The process may take sometime but if tracks had need previously matched or uploaded, the process will be quicker that a complete new scan.
Once scan has completed, check that the tracks have been matched, uploaded or purchased. Create a playlist based on iCloud status being matched or uploaded. This will tell you the total number of tracks that count towards the 25k. You can now think about readding the deleted tracks.
If you go over 25k non iTunes purchased track again, you can use the second library method to manage your main library. When you delete a track from the cloud it does not delete it from your computer. When you go back to your main library you will see the iCloud status as "Removed". Match will ignore in future scans.
Jim

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