ICloud kills my data - again.  How do I fix my contacts and my calendars?

I stupidly decided to link my devices via iCloud.  And this after I both lost contact data and gained 000s of unknown contacts after downloading OS 5.
Yesterday , I naively thought it might all have been fixed.  But no!
After all my contacts disappeared from Outlook, I killed that iCloud link.  They sort of came back.
But when I use a distribution list on my PC, I get "an unexpected error has occurred".  Hitting properties tells me that the list has been deleted.  Of course, they have not.
And I now have four calendars!  If I remove one, I lose my calendar entries - except for the birthdays for a stack of people I don't know.
How can I make my distribution lists work?
Thank you
I should have accepted Apple help desk's advice to avoid iCloud.

Find a computer with iTunes 10.5 and create a backup from the old phone and then restore from backup on the 4s.

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