ICloud Mayhem - Shared Family Account

Question

I'm wondering if the support community can help with my family's iCloud woes because I'm at a loss.
Between the four of us we own nine seperate Apple devices, we each have an iPhone and iPad as well as a shared family MacBook Pro.
Ideally I want to be able to share the following between devices:
Music
Apps
Calendar
Beyond this it would be helpful to be able to selectively share reminders or notes when needed but not have all reminders or notes sync completely with each device. That way I could set reminders for my children and have them sync to their devices.
I also want each of us to have our own iCloud email address which only syncs between our own two devices. So each persons email would be available on their iPhone and iPad but none of the other devices.
I also don't want to have everyone's iMessages and Facetime sync between all devices. We each only want to see our own iMessages and Facetime calls.
Photostream sync is another awkward one. Ideally I would want these to sync so they could be backed-up to a single iCloud account with extra storage, rather than having to buy additional storage for several iCloud accounts.
What would be perfect is a single iCloud account with additional storage.
Selectively selecting which email alias syncs with which devices.
Selectively selecting which calendar syncs with which devices.
Selectively syncing iMessenger and Facetime to the relevant devices.
Photostream Sync
The ability to download and sync ALL iTunes and AppStore content rather than having to buy for each device.
Is all this even possible?

Answer 1

Welcome to the Apple community.
One approach would be for each of you to have their own Apple ID to use with iCloud, but still continue to use a family Apple ID for services such as the iTunes Store, which will mean that you can continue to share apps, music, movies etc. This way everybody would have their own email address, calendar, contacts list etc., they could also use their own Apple ID for services such as face time and messages, thereby avoiding the mayhem you have undoubtably found.
As for your requirements to be able to set appointments in other users calendars, there are several ways you could go about this. Either you could simply create the appointment in your own calendar and invite the appropriate family members. Another alternative would be to add the other family members Apple ID to your device as a secondary account in settings> mail, contacts, calendars. That way you could selectively share calendars or contacts or notes or whatever you did or didn't want to share.