IMessage, multiple devices and roaming

I discovered what I consider a bug through an almost-marital-spat: My wife is in another country with only her iPhone. Her iPad is still at home. I send her a bunch of text messages and of course, they're all sent through iMessage.
I can hear them arrive on the iPad, but soon realize that my wife never read those texts - which also explains the cross messages I get from her
So I figure there is nothing keeping track of where people are, iMessage sends out to all iOS devices but doesn't care if they all get the info.
What is there to do?
Other than manually selecting "send as SMS". But for that "trick" you actually need to know that the person is not in the country they're supposed to be in.

According to the iPhone Manual:
"Because iMessages are displayed on all of your iOS 5 devices logged in to the same account, you can start a conversation on one of your devices, then continue it on another device. iMessages are also encrypted. "
http://manuals.info.apple.com/en_US/iphone_user_guide.pdf

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