IMessage sending messages from email not phone number/not working

I have an iPhone 5s and my sister has an iPhone 5c. She told me that my phone was sending her imessages from my email. When I go to change it to my phone number only it has it as a grayed out (will not let me select it). I turned iMessages off and then turned it back on and it still wouldn't so I tried it one more time now I get a "waiting for activation..." under my iMessage switched on. I tried turning it off, hard resetting and then turning it back on but when I go to sign in it says "server couldnt not be reached. try again" and it says that each time i try to sign in.
I guess my questions are: 1) do the imessage servers go down? 2) how do i 'activate" my imessages so it doesnt say 'waiting for activation"? 3) how do i make my imessages come from my phone number and not my email?

Associate your mobile number with your Apple ID, if you haven't already done so.
Sign out of iMessage on the Mac:
          Messages ▹ Preferences ▹ Accounts ▹ Sign out
and on the iPhone:
          Settings ▹ Messages ▹ Send & Receive ▹ Apple ID ▹ Sign out
Then, on the phone, tap
          Use Your Apple ID for iMessage
Sign back into iMessage on both devices and test. If there's no change, you may have to wait for a change in network conditions.
Credit for this solution to ASC member SmittyLove and to Glenn Fleishman of tidbits.com.

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