In a shared reminder list, it refuses to push alerts to the other iPhone.

Me and my Girlfriend use the sharing function for the Calenders and Reminders due to living away because of a job placement this year, the Calender's that are shared work flawlessly, when we add something, it tells you, change, it tells you, assign an alert and it alerts both iPhones. However when creating a Reminder, I shared it with my girlfriend only to find that as I was adding things she was completely unaware, I originally shared it using iCal, so I removed it and tried with icloud.com, the same thing happens. She only knows if the reminder is there by opening the app giving it a few seconds and it then loads up, however she doesnt get any form of alert even if I set it to alert me. I have dragged the list to the top of both the phones lists, I have in the settings put the option in to sync all reminders and I also have set the list that is shared as the default, none of this works and still have the same issue. Can someone shed some light on this, is this a 'feature' of Apple products or is there a box im leaving unticket or an option left that im missing? I have an iPhone 5 and she has an iPhone 4S. however this happened when I had the 3GS a month ago, even had the same issue in ios 5 on the 3GS.

Me and my Girlfriend use the sharing function for the Calenders and Reminders due to living away because of a job placement this year, the Calender's that are shared work flawlessly, when we add something, it tells you, change, it tells you, assign an alert and it alerts both iPhones. However when creating a Reminder, I shared it with my girlfriend only to find that as I was adding things she was completely unaware, I originally shared it using iCal, so I removed it and tried with icloud.com, the same thing happens. She only knows if the reminder is there by opening the app giving it a few seconds and it then loads up, however she doesnt get any form of alert even if I set it to alert me. I have dragged the list to the top of both the phones lists, I have in the settings put the option in to sync all reminders and I also have set the list that is shared as the default, none of this works and still have the same issue. Can someone shed some light on this, is this a 'feature' of Apple products or is there a box im leaving unticket or an option left that im missing? I have an iPhone 5 and she has an iPhone 4S. however this happened when I had the 3GS a month ago, even had the same issue in ios 5 on the 3GS.

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