Invite to video chat, invitation received, responded to, but can't connect

Question

I invite a friend to video phone on iChat, she accepts the invitation, but then we can't chat. If I invite her, she clicks Accept, then on her end it says that she failed to respond and on my end it just keeps waiting endlessly. If she invites, me, I click Accept and on her end it says that I failed to respond and on my end it just keeps waiting endlessly. Friend has a Mac also, not sure which one but just purchased in late 2005 so quite new, running OS 10.4.4.
I have a Mac Mini. Just updated to OS 10.4.4 today, 1/28/06, which at least seemed to take care of my previous issue! (iChat was quitting just after startup, every time I opened it).
I found Ralph's post to another user with a similar issue from earlier today, and will go ahead and answer the questions as they apply to my situation.:
+Ralph wrote: ++
It may not be a bandwidth issue but it may be a port setting somewhere.
So, What modem ?
-->Cable modem: Cisco 575 LRE
What ports if any have you enabled ?
-->internal modem, built-in ethernet, and built-in firewire. These ports are checked, and appear, in this order. I don't have Airport (haven't downloaded it) or Bluetooth at all since I don't have wireless internet.
Have you got the Mac Firewall On ?
-->No, nothing checked under Firewall at all.
Have you set ports for iChat as there is no Preset ?
-->Do not know how to do this.
Have you changed the Quicktime Streaming Speed to match your Download ?
--> I believe so. I did the test and the speed varied between 550 and 890, so I changed Quicktime streaming speed to 512. We both restarted our computers and tried again but problem was still there.
What is the setting you have in iChat > Preferences > Video Section > Bandwidth Limit drop down (It should be NONE) ?
--> It is NONE and has always been.
Are either of you using any iChat Add-ons ?This will effect the Intel end as they will not work in Universal and iChat will need to be run in Rosetta.
--> I don't know what these would be so I assume I am not using them. In any case we are both using Macs.
This is the latest in a long saga of iChat problems so any help is greatly appreciated!
Mac Mini   Mac OS X (10.4.4)  

Answer 1

Ok,
This is for the Mac Firewall.
Go to System Preferences > Sharing > Firewall tab.
In the list of items (services and apps) - hover the mouse over any item.
This will bring up a little yellow dialogue box which will list the ports that could be opened if that item is selected.
The ports are just a means of seperating that diiferent data out that happens to go in an out of your computer to other places (internet or computers) or to devices such as printers and scanners.
Web browsing in always on port 80
Mail can be on port 110, 443 and some others specified by the mail servers such as Googlemail which insists you set up ports 578.
You will find there is a preset for iChat Bonjour with ports 5297 and 5298 set up. However it is a hold over from Panter and lists the protocol as TCP.
This a show an see info post to this point.
If you run your Mac with the Firewall On then you will need to make a setting for icaht AV as there is no preset.
This is where the Apge 4 link, instructions and pic comes in.
Use the New Button
Select Other from the top drop down.
Type 5190, 5298, 5220, 5222, 5223 in the TCP line
Type 5060, 5190, 5297, 5298, 5678, 16384-16403 in the UDP line
Enter a name for this entry in the Description line
Hit the OK button.
Now read page 3
This resates the ports needed and the jobs they do for iChat.
These ports (openings in the modem) need to be enabled in the modem.
It can be done in three ways (depending on the functions of your modem)
UPnP is and On/Off settings that lets the App control when the ports are open and which ports it needs. It allows multiple computers to use those ports at the same time
Port Triggering is a form of Network Address Translation (NAT) that set a single port as the trigger for more ports to be open if data arrives on that port.
This also allows multiple computers to use the ports.
Port Forwarding is the oldest form of opening the ports.
It specifies which IP address the data will be sent to and therefore only allows one cmputer to use the ports.
(DMZ is an extreme form of this that opens all the ports to 0ne device).
http://portforward.com/routers.htm This site is a good place to find out the Default IP addres of the modem and the Default USer ID and Passwords it may have. (It also porvides instructions and Pics on how to do Port Forwarding based on the application.
See if your modem is listsed.
Click on it and choose iChat from the next page list.
Study the pics to see if you can see where the UPnP items is if your modem has it. (it may not be in sight)
Use the default info to access your modem and look around. They will work like web pages.
If you have UPnP enable it.
If not post back with your Progress
Ralph