IOS Remote and Home Sharing problems with iTunes 10.6.3

I'm having a problem with Home Sharing and the iOS Remote app accessing iTunes since the 10.6.3 update. I have the following:
2011 Mac Mini Server running Lion 10.7.4 and iTunes 10.6.3
IPhone 4 running iOS 5.1
iPad 2 running iOS 5.1.1
Latest model Apple TV
The Remote app on both the iPhone and iPad are unable to connect to the iTunes library on the Mini (the app will just sit there trying to connect but never make a connection). The Apple TV is showing the same behaviour: when I go into 'Computers' it tries to connect to my library without success.
I've tried a few things:
1) Turning off and re-enabling Home Sharing on the Mac Mini
2) Deleting my library in the iOS app and then re-adding it
In both cases this seemed to work at first, but then after a while I was unable to connect again.
I have since discovered that if I quit and restart iTunes on the Mac this seems to resolve the issue on all of the other devices. But again this is a short term fix and after a while they are once again unable to connect.
The Mac Mini is always on and is set to not sleep (although I have to enter the password again after an hour).
At first I thought this might be time related, and that if the Mac had been idle for a while and the drives were 'sleeping' then the issue would occur. However, if I have left the Mac for several hours and then go back to it and login and start something playing in iTunes the other 3 devices still cannot connect even though iTunes is active and reading from the drive. As soon as I restart iTunes they can all see the library again for a while.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
thanks
Mark

Same thing here except I'm not running server software on the Mac Mini. The Apple support person said that iTunes is the same, server or not. He recommeded setting sleep to never, but I get the same connection problems. I also automatically restart the Mini and relaunch iTunes on startup every morning at 6 AM. And, as with your experience, the only temporary solution is to quit and restart iTunes at the time that I want to connect. Apple TV, iPhone, and iPad all have the same connection problem. My only hope at this point is 10.8. I have to say, 10.7 has never behaved better than a beta release. I hope they took a little more time with Mountain Lion.
Sorry I don't have a solution. I wanted to add my name to the list and hope someone out there has some insight to share.

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