IPad 2 BIG Lemon - but then Apple themselves are not helping either

My Ipad 2 started re-setting itself after only two days of owning it. Coupled with the key clicks would intermittently stop and a crackling noise from the speakers. I logged calls immedialtey- It is now two weeks and Apple are driving me round the twist. Support and their stores just tell me anything to make me go away. Now when I plug it into charge - and yes I have tried different chargers - and YES I use the Ipad not the iphone charger - It crashes and has horrible screen colours and dies and reboots and never makes it up again.
JB Hi Fi Store wont co-operate as they have none to give me - Apple store booked me in for a Repair and also told me they would give me a repaired replacement immediately and that yes they had one put aside to give me..but when I went in (2 hour trip one way) they said they could not help as the "unknown" person who told me they definitely had one to give me - lied to me... So yes I swore bigtime......so finally I opted for an extended warranty and Express replacement (it says online 2 - 3 days shipping) It is now day 2 and still no sign of it being shipped so I cant see how Ill get it on day 3 - I bought it for an important event I have on Monday - and I wish I had never come across Apple Ipad 2 EVER!!
Ipad 2

Yes I have tried the suggestions above - When it goes down it goes down big time and into and endless loop of starting up and then crashing again. Restore also did not work - same issues prevail.
With regards to the replacement stock at the store.....you had to be there yesterday to witness the fight - They swear black and blind there is no repair nor replacement stock. Got hold of Apple again today and they have confirmed that my Express Replacement is not shipped and wont be until at least sometime next week as they too do not have stock.....
At least it has been confirmed DOA - but DOA is no good if I cant get a replacement within a reasonable time.

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