Ipad not showing in iTunes but recognizes and synchs

Hi all:
Ok so here is my situation. i decided today to get my house in order and prepare for icloud.
I have 2 4th generation Ipod Touches
and an Ipad2 and
an Ipod classic.
Until about 2 months ago, I had my backups in itunes on a Windows 7 machine. My music and other media were on a networked external hard drive for home sharing.When the Sony Vaio failed, I got a Mac Book Pro.(tired of spending good money on devices which dont last a year!!)
I am now running OSX10.7.1, with Itunes 10.4.1.  I was able to connect and synch up media to the ipod classic a couple of months ago, with no problems.
My issue today is that when I connect the Ipad, or the Touches, they are recognized in iTunes and I get the message that they are already synch'd with another computer (the vaio that died) and that inorder to proceed itunes needs to erase and install items from this new computer and library. No problem with that. Except that the device isn't listed in the left had side of the screen like it used to.
In the case of the Ipad which was the first I connected,I ended up downloading all the apps on to Itunes so I could start over and select them for installation. BUT... after it was taking a long time and i checked iTunes, i noticed that the device was not listed under devices on the left side of iTunes. But there was a synch in progress and my entire itunes library of songs got installed on the ipad. I need to be able to pick and choose like before. I had some music on the ipad, but not my entire library.
In the case of the Ipod Touches, they were also recognized and not listed under devices and I was able to update the system software on them to the latest. but I stopped short of synching for obvious reasons. Under device preferences I see backups for the Ipad and the Touches that were done today. But I dont know if I trust them. 
I canot find threads out here specifically for this issue. Seems like most of the time the device isnt recognozed at all. In my case Itunes sees it and updates it, but i cant see the device and manage what goes on it. This is especially essential for the ipod touches which are for my children. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Try the suggestions in this article: iOS: Device not recognized in iTunes for Windows, http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1538

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