Iphone 3GS won't activate after update - asks for itunes, which just quits unexpectedly every time!

I updated my iphone 3GS and now when I turn it on it just asks to be connected to itunes. Problem is when I do this, itunes unexpectedly quits every time. I've updated the laptop and it makes no difference, and I am left without a phone...really not impressed and can't wait for my upgrade to get rid of it.

Try this:
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1808
This put's an iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch in recovery mode.  Should solve the problem if it is phone related.  If not, you may want to post in iTunes support as well.  I had a similar problem recently with an iPod touch and this fixed it.

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    If no other USB power adapter is available, try connecting to a high-power USB 2.0 port (not a keyboard). The computer must be turned on and not in sleep or standby mode.
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    Please help my iphone 3 gs will not activate after restore and update.

    If it is locked to any carrier, insert SIM from the carrier. If it is unlocked insert any SIM to activate.

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    What wireless carrier did you use before this problem?
    Does the app Cydia appear on your iPhone?
    What does it say when you look at Settings=>General=>About=>Carrier?

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