IPhone 3GS wont restore, missing music

Nothing but problems with my new iPhone 3GS
Firstly after the second sync all the music was replaced with "Other" data - and the iPhone was saying it had no music content. Tried resyncing it with iTunes and got the message that there was not enough space on the iPhone.
Then attempted a restore - but it gets stuck after downloading the software update while verifying the restore with apple. The message is Unable to restore - unknown error.
So I now have an iPhone which is unusable and stuck in recovery mode.
Also tried restoring on both my imac and macbook pro but both return the same problem.
Im now very disappointed and back to using my old nokia until I can get this sorted out - any suggestions.
Thanks,
Isaac

An update:
Spoke with the iPhone technical support today who found that the error message my iTunes is generating is because iTunes cannot connect to the apple server - which is strange cause i've always been able to use iTunes normally. Suggested that I open ports 80 and 443, and check I can ping gs.apple.com (which I could).
Opening port 80 was difficult. After setting the port forwarding on the router (and even placing it in a DMZ just to be sure) the port was still not open and because of leopards firewall required being manually edited in terminal with:
sudo ipfw -q add 10 allow tcp any to any 80 in
sudo ipfw -q add 20 allow tcp any to any 80 out
However doing the same with port 443 (and turning back to my mac off - which I think normally listens on this port) I was still unable to open this port.
iPhone support thinks its a problem with the mac firewall seeing I cannot connect to their servers (despite being able to use and download etc from the itunes store), imac support thinks its the ISP, and my ISP thinks its either of the apple products - they assure me that the only port they close at the ISP end is port 25 and with the computer in a DMZ then its not their issue.
In addition:
tried the suggestions above
-holding down sleep/home, then home etc
-connecting whilst holding down home
-creating a new user account and attempting to restore from there
-deleting itunes application and the AppleMobileDevice files then reinstalling
Either way, and after a half day of googling, an aspirin, and being handballed around between apples various support departments i'm still back at square one with an iphone / paperweight "unable to verify restore with apple - unknown error (3014)".
Hope someone has some suggestions - apple is clueless about this it seems. Im sure there must be more people with an iPhone stuck in recovery mode having the same problem.
Apple suggested that I take the phone back to Vodafone in NZ and have them restore it - dosnt fix the problem though. This happened on the second day of use - probably going to happen again - and what if I need to do another restore sometime?
Thanks
Isaac

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hi everyone, just going to post my problem here and see if anyone has any advice or tips for me.
i have an iphone 3GS and am using a pc with windows xp. i have never been able to sync my phone with itunes 9 and above so after updating software on my iphone i had to go back to itunes 8.2 wich was fine. when iphone os4 was released i updated itunes to 9.2 and tried to install the new hardware, didnt work and i needed to restore my iphone. couldnt do this on my pc so took the phone to my parents computer and restored it fine on there. get back home and plugged my iphone, sync'd it up with a backup no problems but when i tried to sync music it gives me an error 'could not sync iphone, the disk could not be read'. it does the backup fine and gets to syncing the first song, gets halfway through that first one and sits there for 20 minutes before bringing up this error.
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OK it sounds like the USB ports re OK, the only other thing I would mention with them, for the moment, make sure you are using the ones on the back of the computer.
Without knowing your machine, sometimes the USB ports on the front are linked via card readers or are front ports on the motherboard, etc and are not high power ports, where as the ones on the back are definitely high power ports.
I have seen many times over the years where clients have come to me saying their external hard drives are faulty, and they plugging them into low power USB ports or into USB hubs and they connect fine, but once they start transferring a lot of information, the lock up or fail during the process as the voltage is dragged down.
I don't know if that would make a difference to a nano, I don't have one of them, but I would expect a nano and iphone to need similar power requirements when syncing.
So at the moment, play it safe and just use the ones on the back until we get the issue solved.
We also need to discount any conflicts between what you have installed on your PC and against iTunes. I don't think this is going to be an issue as you are already syncing another device, but at the same time we need to eliminate the possibility.
If you know how to use MSCONFIG thats good but not essential. We want to stop startup items and services that are not Apple, these include Security Software, CD/DVD software and pretty much anything else you have installed on your computer during it's life. Most software manufacture's write code into their software to start up parts of it when starting your computer. Some of it is essential, eg Security, most of it is a waste of time. The reason they do it is so their software will start up quickly when you want to use it, but if you rarely use it, then all it is really doing is slowing down the boot time of the computer.
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IPhone 3GS wont restore, missing music

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