IPhone 4 (not 4S) and iOS - please help!

I am still using the iPhone 4 and wont be upgrading for another few months.  I have never had any version iOS on the phone...I cannot get it on.
I have tried following the Apple instructions - Settings > General > Software..... but my phone does not have a Software option to select.
It has been months since I've been able to download a new app, or update existing ones, because everything needs iOS - and now the existing ones are giving me pop up messages saying they are about to stop working unless I update the app....which I would LOVE to do, but can't.
Can someone please tell me how to get iOS on the iPhone 4....or if it's not possible, just let me know that so I can stop trying - it's driving me crazy!!
Thanks

UPDATING iOS
Over the air updating of iOS needs iOS 5 or later
The following link explains how to update
This link explains  how to update using itunes
This explains how to transfer purchases to your computer

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