IPhone 4 previously sync'd with iTunes on friends pc. Now have my own laptop with iTunes, but my iPhone is not showing up. How can I change it to my new iTunes?

Currently sync'd on a friend's pc which I have no access to now.

You can't merge IDs, but if you want to change the ID:
For iMessage, go to Settings>Messages>Send & Receive, tap the ID sign out, sign back in using the new ID.
For FaceTime, do the same thing in Settings>FaceTime.
For Purchasing, do this in Settings>iTunes & App Store.
For iCloud, start by saving your photo stream photos to your camera roll by opening your My Photo Stream album, tap Select, tap all the photos you want to save, tap the share icon (box with upward pointing arrow), then tap Save to Camera Roll. Then go to Settings>iCloud, tap Delete Account and provide the password and choose Keep on My iPhone when prompted, then sign back in with your new ID and choose Merge to upload your data.

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