Iphone 4 Sync - Windows PC - Why does it keep removing what is on my phone rather than copying what is on my phone onto ITUNES?

I have had my iphone for about two years now, i cannot for the life of me understand why every time i sync to itunes that it keeps wiping off what is on my phone.
What i mean by this, i may have added a new phone contact or downlaoded a new game and placed on a specific page. but when i sync it removes these and just copies back onto my phone whatever i last synce.
Why the heck does it keep doing this. i remmeber in the first year i had this, but there was a solution; something i had to tick within itunes. I DONT KNOW WHAT IT WAS.
Hope someone can help me. i have purposly not sync my phone since last year because of it.
HELP

Thanks Turingtest2,
I appreciate your response. I have done all of the things mentioned, but still when I click on "devices", the "transfer music" option is still not selectable. I see it, but can't select it. I am running Windows 7 on my PC.
However, one thing I read makes me take pause. At one point I did erase my computer back to factory settings using the mirrored image. We backed up all information and put the important stuff back on, but I don't believe we did anything with iTunes, so it's a possibility that the music that is in my library now, may only be music I have purchased since then. But, (thinking out loud) that was a while ago and I am pretty sure I have purchased more music than what is in my iTunes library, since then. Maybe I will approach it from that angle and see what happens.
It just doesn't make any logical sense that syncing goes from computer to device. Ostensibly then, my iPhone would only have the music that is on my computer after syncing and that is not the case. I still have all my music on my phone. I can see the new music that's on my phone get added to my iTunes library when I connect, which would make one think that syncing occurs both ways. I don't know. It's maddening. Maybe I should just follow my husbands advice and go to an Android. LOL. Or maybe I will take my laptop and phone to the Apple store and make them figure it out. Ha.
If you have any thoughts about this, let me know. Thanks again.

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Iphone 4 Sync - Windows PC - Why does it keep removing what is on my phone rather than copying what is on my phone onto ITUNES?

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