IPhone 4 upgrade from 3G  PLEASE help

After much encouragement from me, my friend finally broke down and bought and iPhone 4 to replace her 3G. She was having much trouble trying to get synced with iTunes, so I offered to help...
After spending 5+ hours (for various reasons) trying to get it to work, we have had no success. The 3G has Version 3.1.3 on it. We SYNCED the old phone on her iTunes on her computer, and all of her "stuff" appears in iTunes (on the computer). When we hooked up the new phone, and clicked Sync, it gave the message that Sync is Complete after only a few seconds. Needless to say, nothing changed on the phone.
There is a backup of the 3G listed on iTunes, but I am afraid:
a. that the OS 3.1.3 will not function on the iPhone 4
b. that we will totally mess everything up, including losing her contacts that the kind young man at the AT&T store moved onto her iPhone 4 for her
c. that we will lose all of her stuff from BOTH phones.
Can someone PLEASE give us some advice?
Do I need to update the iPhone 3G to the newest version of iPhone OS 4?
I am obviously clueless.
Thanks so much in advance.

Do this:
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT2109

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