IPhone 4S Calendar will not synch to OutLook 2010 from 1 of 2 phones

Problem: iPhone 4S Calendar will not synch to OutLook 2010 from 1 of 2 phones. Contacts synch fine. Was no problem in the past until...
Sorry for the length. Trying to give all info I can.
Summary: Had to get motherboard fixed under factory warranty which included new hard drive, and reinstall everything on an HP DV7 laptop. So this is a clean installation of everything on the laptop (Win7). Configuring iTunes and Outlook 2010 for two iPhone 4S users (myself and wife) was my last step. Re-established each user account to iTunes. Calendar synch problem popped up on one of two iPhones that did not exist before.
Prior history: all synchs worked great prior to the clean install and I never had a problem.
Config: Windows 7, two iPhone 4S, Week Calendar apps on both. All software up-to-date on iPhones and Win7 (fanatic about that). Had OL2010 PST datafile backups and simply used them for the OL re-installs. OL2010 makes that easy. Each user has their own Win7 login to keep our stuff separate. Of course, OL has Calendar as part of its install.
Week Calendar apps on both are configured with same calendars (Calendar, Home, My Birthdays, Work). Verified each iPhone Calendars app, Calendar button: From My PC listing has all these checked: All From My PC, Calendar, Home, My Birthdays, Work; Other: Birthdays.
Difference: In using iTunes to synch, iTunes said the iPhone account was different from the OL account and asked to merge or replace. Apparently this is normal for iTunes on a new install (since basically it is) synching to prior synched stuff.
iTunes settings for both: Connect iPhone for each user and checked INFO settings for Contacts and Calendars.I used “selected calendars” and verified. Each user has all four calendars checked.
NOTE: Prior to each users first synch below, neither user had anything in OL2010 Calendar. Can't blame on recurring events problems in OL. ALL the events are on the iPhones and are being synched TO the PC to populate OL2010 Calendars.
Additional Note: Contacts was already loaded into OL from my backups so synching has no problem.
User 1 iPhone: Success 1st try.
In iTunes, selected “merge info” instead of replace.
Results: User 1 synched fine from iTunes to OL2010 including the 4 Calendars (Calendar, Home, My Birthdays, Work). 4 calendars showed up. No problems at all. Wonderful! expected behavoir.
User 2 iPhone: Still failing to synch.
In iTunes, selected “replace” instead of merge info. Apple’s dialog is incredibly confusing and non-explicit on what copies to what and what it does.
Results: User 2 synched fine from iTunes to OL2010 for Contacts. DID NOT synch the 4 Calendars (Calendar, Home, My Birthdays, Work). Only calendar that shows up in OL is Calendar and it doesn’t contain any data. iTunes has no errors and the synch status bar indicates everything went fine.
Tried: I deleted the PST files and copied the backup files back to OL to start over. ITUNES no longer gives me the merge info versus replace option. I’ve synched multiple times but the calendar data will not synch.
Not Tried: Creating the same remaining named calendars (Home, My Birthdays, Work) in OL and trying again.
ALL suggestions is greatly appreciated.

Ok, new info. This gets better and better.
In OL2010, the Calendar in the navigation pane had no arrow indicating it had subcalendars within it. I right clicked on Calendar and chose New Calendar. It gave me a list of the existing calendars that were missing !!
When I cancelled, there was an expand arrow next to Calendar in the Navigation pane !!!!!
Expanding it showed the unchecked missing calendars. I checked them and synched again.
WRONG THING TO DO! ALL my wife's calendar entries in her iPhone since the laptop went down 3 weeks ago DISAPPEARED. No warnings, nothing at any step of this process. The OL files overwrote the iPhone data.
I can't find any way to get them back as this **** iStuff relies on iTunes for everything.
Is there any way to get her files back from before this synch?
Is there no way to save data files off the iPhone w/o iTunes?
Why doesn't iTunes let you control the direction of data transfer?
I now have one very ****** off wife.

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