IPhone 4S - Syncing issues with a Mac

I've tried almost everything! I have the latest versions of Itunes, iOS7, and running OS x 10.9. I cant sync music between my iPhone 4S and my Mac or my wife's iPhone4 and the Mac. Very frustrating, I don't manually manage music I sync my playlists and videos. I've tried to restore and restart both phones but nothing! When I purchase music now, I have to wait until it downloads and then create or modify a playlist on the phone itself, I can't even get purchases to transfer, if i make them on the Mac. It began after I performed the latest iOS7 update. Help please!!!

Thanks @Awol1404 I do have a lot of songs with just a circle of dots on the device through Itunes, some of these songs come up on the device itself as greyed out with a (stop download icon (circle with square in the middle)) i've tried to remove all the songs my unchecking the sync music box and checking the manually mangage box. I press sync or apply and itunes does its thing. On Itunes the device then comes up as having 2 playlists (one voice memos and 1 random playlist from what i had) and thats it. I can reboot the computer and when i plug it back in it still says that that is what is on the phone. on the phone itself, there has been no changes except maybe the odd song greyed out. Very confusing, frustrating and well... frustrating!!!!
I have no issues with iCloud syncing, contacts and messages, emails, calendars are all working how they should.

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