Iphone 5 stuck on connect to itunes after iOS 6.1 update

I connected my iphone to itunes to download a few songs and the iOS 6.1 update.  I come back to the phone 15min later and itunes says the download was incomplete it is stuck on the connect to itunes screen.I try to restore the phone, but the device is not recognized in itunes.  I tried to turn off the phone but it keeps on turning back to the connect to itunes screen.  Whenever I dissconnect the usb cable to my windows laptop, i hear this notification sound, but there is no pop up thing.  The iphone is also not recognized on the my computor tab.  This is extreemly frustrating, and I would like to avoid going to the apple store.
Thanks

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1808 you may need to do this a few times.

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