IPhone and iPad can no longer connect to iTunes Libary via Remote

Up until a couple of hours ago, I had no problems controlling iTunes on my MacBook Pro via my iPhone or iPad. Now, on both devices, I get an error saying it can't connect to my Library.
All devices are connected to the same network. I get the error whether my firewall is on or off. I have tried re-adding the Library. When I do so the relevant device shows up in iTunes and the pairing process SEEMS to work. It tells me that my iPhone can now control my library, but it still can't connect.
I've tried rebooting the router.
All devices show the same ip address for the router and all are on the same subnet.
I've just upgraded iTunes to 10.2.1 and everything on the iPhone and iPad has the latest upgrades.
Also when I go to the iPod app on my iPhone and go to More -> Shared -> and then my library, I get an error saying "Cannot Connect to Media Libary"
I've seen this advice, "You must also have the iTunes preference "Look for iPod touch, iPhone and iPad Remotes" enabled. " I cannot find this preference anywhere. It's not something I've ever looked for before so possibly the name of it has changed in a recent iTunes release. Can anyone tell me if I'm looking for the right thing and where I might find it?
Any other ideas?
Anyone else with a similar problem that has cropped up recently?

Hi Everyone, I found a solution to this problem with no "Look for iPod..." option.
Check "Allow iTunes Audio Control from Speakers"
Then, RESTART iTunes.
Heres a picture of what to check off:
http://www.ilounge.com/assets/images/articles_jdh/itunes-102-2f.png
Should Work.

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Check USB connections. iOS devices need USB 2.0 to work properly. If you're not sure your Mac has USB 2.0 ports, check the computer's specifications.
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IPhone and iPad can no longer connect to iTunes Libary via Remote

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