IPhone automatically starts backing up, then iTunes crashes

Question

Hi,
Every time I plug my iPhone into the computer, it states: You have apps and what not purchased on your iPhone that are not on your computer. Do you want to transfer them from your phone to your computer?
I always say no, and I have made sure that nothing is set to automatically sync when I plug in my iPhone (yes, I have checked that the apps are not set to sync). Anyways, I will say "don't transfer" and then it goes ahead and says "syncing iphone" and then it says "backing up iphone"... every single time I plug it in. Then, it will say it is backing up my voice memos, and it always gets stuck there and then iTunes on my computer locks up and has to be forced to quit (it was locked up for about 5 hours today). I can't update my iPhone, i can't change the content on there... it just immediately screws up like this. It's getting very frustrating.
Any help is appreciated.
Now, on a side note, I am not sure if this is causing anything to happen, but both my wife and I use the same computer to manage our iPhones on iTunes. I have an iTunes account, and she has an iTunes account. So, sometimes I notice that when I buy apps on my iPhone, it says that I am buying them under her account, and sometimes it says it is buying them under my account. I am guessing that whoever is logged into iTunes at the time I plug my phone in, my phone will automatically set itself to that account. Is that correct? Anyways, I think iTunes is saying that whatever apps that are on my phone that are not from the account that iTunes is currently logged in to, it wants to correct that and sync iTunes with my phone and make sure the same apps are on the computer as on my phone. Ahhrrrggg!
Please help!

Answer 1

As a start, create a new windows user account, log in, set up your iTunes account. Make sure that autosync is deactivated and back up manually by right clicking on your device and choosing "backup".
Do the same with "transfer purchases" to copy your apps and media to the new iTunes library.
If you made it that far without problems, set up at least one contact and event on your computer, to make sure contacts and events are merged after your phone got wiped during the first sync.
Restore the rest of the data from your manual backup and you should have no more problems separating your purchases and apps.
See what's included in the backup here: http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1766
I have come across some threads where users had problems transferring voice mail files during the backup made prior to a sync. They had to delete them to be able to complete the backup.