IPhone email receives, won't send - have read through forums, nothing works

Hoping someone can help.
my iPhone receives email but won't send.
I first tried the automatic sync through iTunes as I am on an iMac and use the Mail client. That didn't work.
Then I deselected 'sync' and set up the account directly on my iPhone. First I did it just like my blackberry (which always worked) - as a POP account, with the same settings as on my computer.
Then i tried it as an IMAP and Exchange account. didn't work.
Please tell me it's something simple I'm doing wrong - here are the details:
Incoming mail server:
host: mail.website.com
user: sarah+website.com
password
Outgoing Mail Server:
smtp.earthlink.net - also tried smtp.website.net, with and without SSL
sarah+website.com
password - tried it with and without user + password (as i never needed this on bberry)
If anyone has any suggestions at all I would be grateful -
thanks so much,
sarah

We went to the "www.apple.com/support/iphone/mailhelper/" and followed all its directions (you are asked to enter your e-mail address, and it returns with everything you need to enter to set up the info).
Before this worked, we had to undo the mail sync in iTunes, then select the "eject iPhone" from a pull down, unplug the iPhone. We then deleted the earthlink account we had first created. Then we recreated a new Earthlink account using the info given us from the link above. The only thing we had to change was under Settings/Mail/Authentication ... don't select anything. It defaults to the MD5 thing but doesn't display anything -- just leave it that way.
I guess that sometimes the sync operation muddles up the process when first creating yor mail accounts.

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