Iphone migration headache!!

Right, I have an iphone puzzle!
I need to migrate my iphone from my old macbook to my shiny new macbook pro (with small dent after dropping it in the first week....
any existing threads i can find all point to consolidating the itunes library and then moving that tothe new macbook...
To make things complicated my itunes library is on an external drive usually hooked up to an old imac. When i sync i hook up the macbook to the external drive. so how do i tell itunes to forget about the old mac, and in backing up the itunes will it save contacts, images, texts etc as well as music?
Is there a simple way to make sure that I dont wipe any apps/contacts / text messages etc?
Should I point my macbook Pro's itunes at the same external drive? and then sync from there?
does anyone have an easy step by step guide to direct me through this specific set of circumstances as i cant find this info anywhere.
What is the best way to ensure that EVERYTHING currently on the phone is still there after the transfer..?
usually i find macs to be very straightforward and user friendly but not this time!
Any help gratefully recieved....

Get your new mac seeing your library the way you want the mac to see it.
do you mean point itunes to the folder on my external drive?
Get at least one contact in your address book (and at least one calendar entry too).
so after itunes it looking at my external drive open up address book and add a contact?
Make sure you are logged into iTunes store before syncing.
In preference find place to turn off AutoSync.
Then plug in.
The iPhone can merge what is on phone with another computer.
It WILL erase music, videos, etc. So that is why first have your Mac seeing everything you have first. Then just sync back. Rest will merge and a new backup will be made on new Mac.
There really isn't anything hard about it.
it may not be hard but its not particularly transparent - ive no idea where texts or contacts are stored and it seems really easy to lose data...

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