Iphone read vs. unread emails + imap vs. pop? PULLEASE HELP

Hey ya!
So I have 5 email accounts that I track regularly:
This is how I have it set up on my MacBookPro:
1) work, exchange IMAP
2) personal, third party POP3
3) business, gmail, pop3
4) business, gmail, pop3
5) personal, gmail, pop3
And I used to have a treo palm 700xw that would have the following behavior:
1) Work exchange imap: If I read a piece of email at work or on my macbook, the emails would download to my phone and be marked as already read - and if they hadn't been read yet, if I read them from my phone, they would be marked as read on the other two systems
2) gmail accounts - on my phone, if I read them, they would be marked read all around
3) personal third party pop - If the emails were downloaded to my computer already, they would show up as unread on my phone (even if I hadn't read them yet).
NOW, with my new iphone, it seems that everything is showing up as unread -
A new gmail or 3rd party email will come in to my macbook pro (via pop3), i read them all - and then i update the info on my phone and they still show up as unread!
MOST ANNOYING THING EVVVER.
Any ideas on how to be smart about this?
I'm having a huge headache and can't figure out the best combo
THANKS ALL!!
-R

If you want to keep mailboxes and messages for an email account synchronized between multiple email clients used to access the account, you need an IMAP account which is designed for this.
If an account can be accessed as a POP or IMAP account, there are potential problems when accessing the account as a POP account with one email client and as an IMAP account with another email client - which defeats the purpose and benefit of an IMAP account.
If you access an account as a POP account, you can't store sent messages on the server. The account's Sent mailbox will not be synchronized with the server with different email clients used to access the account.
If you want synchronization including when a message has been read with one email client being marked as read when checking the account's Inbox mailbox with another email client, you need to access the account as an IMAP account with both email clients used to access the account.

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