IPhone won't update from 4.3.1 to 5.0.1

I have been trying to update my roommates iPhone 3GS software from 4.3.1 to 5.0.1 on iTunes.
When I try to click update, a message pops up saying "There was a problem downloading the software for the iPhone. The netwoek connection could not be established"
I have tried looking for stuff online, but have not been successful in fixing it. I have backed it up and restored it; I have also reset it, but nothing is working.
She has a Mac OS X, Version 10.6.8.
iTunes is updated to 10.5.3
Another issue is that her phone always says "Charging is not supported with this accessory" with the little yellow triangle when it is not plugged in at all!

Two separate issues.
To solve the first one, make sure any firewall is off and log out, then back in to iTunes. I assume you're oing this on the computer that is normally used by the iPhone to sync to. Otherwise, everything on the phone will be wiped out.
To solve the second issue, try to Restet the phone, although you might need to move to a Restore.
Try to Reset your device:
Press and hold both the Sleep/Wake button and the Home button for at least ten seconds, until the Apple logo appears (ignore the Slide to Power Off option that shows up first).

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