Iphone wont send imessage

I started a conversation with a friend in sms (she had android at the time), now she's switched to Iphone, and I would like to send imessage.
My ipad sends iM to her, and she sends iM to me (both shows up on iphone as well as pad).
But my iphone will only send sms to her.
It seems like my iphone is "locked" to sending sms, and won't send imessage even when I turn off the "send sms when imessage not available" option.
It seems strange that the iphone doesn't detect the possibility to send imessage. Can anyone help?
Since my iphone recives her imessages and identify them correctly as imessage and the same contact information is in both my iphone (which only sends sms) and my ipad (that sends imessage without a hitch - though it is wifi only, so it cant send sms), it should be possible for my iphone to respond with imessage to her iM.
Would appreciate help

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http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1414
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help please!!!

Greetings ,
Welcome to the Apple Support Communities!
I understand that your iPhone is only sending iMessages from your email address and not your phone number. There could be a couple of different factors causing this situation.
First I would suggest checking to see if you phone number is listed on your iPhone under Settings > Messages > Send & Receive. If it is not, please follow the attached instructions.
Update to the latest version of iOS.
Verify that you're using the same Apple ID that you're using on your iPhone.
On your iPad or iPod touch, sign out of your Apple ID in the following locations:
Settings > Messages > Send & Receive. Tap your Apple ID, then tap Sign Out.
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If your phone number still isn't listed, follow these steps:
Sign out of your Apple ID on all iOS devices, including your iPhone, in the following locations:Sign in to your Apple ID on your iPhone.
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