IPhone4 won't update to 5.1... help.

I have a iphone 4 and I am trying to update to the new 5.1 software.  I plug it into itunes and let it sync.  then i click on update and then a little box pops up and says "Contacting the iPhone Software Update Server..." and has a little bar below it.  nothing happens after that. It's stays in the "thinking" mode for hours if i leave it. This is happening on my iPad 2 and my iPhone.
I'm attempting this on a mac with all the latest software.

I am sure I have seen the solution for this a few time on this forum...
have a read of this iy might help
https://discussions.apple.com/message/17829164#17829164

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