IPhoto is paralyzed!  Cannot burn, delete nothing!  Help!

I currently have about 8,000 pictures on my iPhoto -- version 05. The system runs very slow b/c of the amount of pictures on the drive. My harddrive says I have 38.44 GB free so I'm not sure why the program is running so slow but I'm thinking that this is the problem b/c it only happens in iPhoto.
So I bought a back up drive and have backed all the photos up and now would like to burn them to DVD/CD as a second form of backup before removing them from the actual iMac. So here are the problems:
(1) I did a test to see if I could drop the photos from the external drive back to the iMac/iPhoto. I erased a folder/roll from iphoto and also deleted the photos from the library. The photos will not erase. I have emptied the trash and repeated the process about 3-4 times. What is left is not images, but grey squares. What is going on?
(2) Assuming I can figure out (1), can I drop photos from the extrnal back to iPhoto? Will they look the same? I saw some post about a Nikon D50 and external burns etc. not going well b/c of thumbnails? How does this play into it? Should I burn from iPhoto? From Toast? What do I need to do to prevent this problem?
(3) I cannot even burn the photos from iPhoto to a DVD. It is telling me that the drive is faulty -- whatever other people with post on the same problem is happening here. It says the drive cannot "retry" I have burned from iPhoto onto a DVD-RW and with this brand so why all of a sudden is it not working? I have adjusted the amount of the burn to under 4gb but still not working. The furthest I get is the "writing to track 1" and it ejects.
(4) I cannot drop to the external drive photos that may have the same file name unless I create sep folders. This is a problem b/c it limits the amount I can then burn on to a CD/DVD (toast seems to be working). I have tried to "rename" the folders by changing the ID to the date and time but the external drive recognizes them by the file name (photo image number) which inevitably will duplicate.
(5) As you may be already able to tell, I am not the best at computers. Is there software that I can install on my extrnal drive that will make the external drive function or look like my iMAC?
Can someone help or sort this out? I am petrified of losing any photos and dont want to make a mistake.

Apple menu -> Force Quit

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