Iphoto Library is locked AND spotlight search stops working

Question

This has been happening for several months.
a restart of my Mac Pro temporarily fixies it for a few days but then it happens again
I have read many threads on the iphoto locked library issue and I have tried all of the suggestions except for the download iphoto library manager.
I don't want to do that uless I have to, and because of the issue with spotlight, I think that it won't be a permanents fix
I don't know if the spotlight search issue is causing the iphoto lock or visa versa, or if there is another thing causeing both,
but after experiencing this problem many times I know that both issues happen a the same time and must be linked in some way.
restarting the mac pro (intel Xeon Dual Core os 10.7.5) solves the problem temporarily. both iphoto and spotligh search work fine after that until the next time.
I don't know what triggers it. and it's really frustrating because I don't understand how the os works and I really need to be able to use the search function for work. I need to be able to search my emails and files and it just doesn't give results except for older files and emails when this happens. the more recent files and emails are either not indexed or not coming up for some reason
my iphoto library is on a seperate drive from my operating system and it is formatted extended journaled and set to ignore permissions
I have tried deleting the iphtotlockdata file but when I do that and try to start iphoto I get a weird message saying
"the library "iphoto library" is open in iphoto. to open this library in iphoto you must quit iphoto."
I've rebuilt the iphoto library before (after restarting) but eventually the problem happens again.
not sure what else to try
thanks in advance for your help

Answer 1

aOne thing that I forgot to add is that I can never just restart or shutdown my computer
It always gets stuck on the grey screen at shutdown and will stay there forever if you let it. I always have to hole the power button to force it off.
Boot into Safe Mode, Mac OS X: Starting up in Safe Mode. and then reboot normally.  That will run a number of repair routines and might fix the shut down issue.
I second Terene's suggestion of using iPhoto Library Manager to rebuild the library. 
Using iPhoto Library Manager  to Rebuild Your iPhoto Library
Download iPhoto Library Manager and launch.
Click on the Add Library button,                         
navigate to your Home/Pictures folder and select your iPhoto Library folder.
Now that the library is listed in the left hand pane of iPLM, click on your library and go to the Library ➙ Rebuild Library menu option             
In the next  window name the new library and select the location you want it to be placed.
Click on the Create button.
Note 1: This creates a new library based on the LIbraryData.xml file in the library and will recover Events, Albums, keywords, titles and comments. However, books, calendars, cards and slideshows will be lost.
Note 2:  your current library will be left untouched for further attempts at a fix if so desired.
OT