IPod nano 3G syncs, disconnects, but won't re-connect.

_*Background info:*_
I've had my iPod nano (3rd gen) for about 9 months, and don't remember having a problem like this in the past. I hadn't used the nano for a while, but just recently added a new Serial ATA hard drive to my computer (replacing a parallel ATA hard drive), and now am wanting to use the nano more.
_*The problem I am having is this:*_
Now having a new hard drive, I had to reinstall iTunes and re-build my music library (had the mp3s backed up...).
So when I connect my iPod now, it seems to recognize it fine but it wanted to install my ENTIRE library - which is far too large to fit. It then gives me an error saying there's not enough space, and disconnects the iPod.
Now, I realize all I need to do is select the "Selected playlists" button under MUSIC tab when the iPod is connected, but here's the problem: the iPod will not RECONNECT when I choose that option and click "APPLY". Similarly, after it's sync'd (or attempted to, given the size issue), and disconnected, it will not re-sync either.
I also tried temporarily decreasing my library size so that it WOULD be able to install the whole library on the first go, as it's trying to do by default. This worked in that it sync'd fine and installed the entire (smaller) library, but I still have the issue where I can't change the settings under the MUSIC tab (to sync ONLY the selected playlists, not my entire music library) and click APPLY - it simply won't reconnect after sync'ing and disconnecting. The iPod, after disconnecting, appears to be on and the screen is lit, but it has the normal menu-browsing appearance, not the "CONNECTING/CONNECTED" appearance.
*Any idea why my iPod won't reconnect, or let me apply settings changes, after it's sync'd and disconnected in iTunes?*
_*Technical Info:*_
- Windows XP (on PC), Service Pack 2
- Serial ATA Hard Drive
- 4-port USB PCI card (to which I am connecting my iPod... I've tried connecting it to my 2 built-in USB ports, also - which don't work well; long story - but I have the same problem).
- iPod Nano 3rd Generation
- latest iTunes install (downloaded yesterday 9/18/08 from iTunes website)
- I don't get any 'exclamation point' errors in my Device Manager for USB/iPod connection.
- Finally, note that I did implement a 'fix' for my Serial ATA hard drive. Turns out that WinXP recognizes it as a Mass Storage Device, and hence, gives the "Safely Remove Hardware" icon in the system tray for my hard drive. I put a DWORD of "DisableRemovable" in my "nvatabus" folder (nVidia ATA bus; motherboard) in HKEYLOCALMACHINE \ SYSTEM \ CurrentControlSet \ Services. I don't think this would interfere w/ the iPod in anyway, but thought it was worth mentioning.
Thanks a lot,
Dan

Also, I just tried syncing media other than music, such as pictures.  And the sync worked just fine.  So it seems to be something going on with syncing music to my iPod nano.

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