Ipod sync is greyed out after latest update and libary was wiped

i updated the latest update...2 weeks later opened itunes my libary was gone bar itunes purchases...
now when ipod is connected if i go to file/ devices ipod isnt there eg bla blas ipod and the sync is greyed out ..
now before i updated the latest update all was fine..
ive since put my libary back as is stored on external hard drive and reset ipod and added libary back to ipod
but still the same as dicribed above.
now i connected my wifes iphone 4s to itunes went to file/devices hey presto itunes reconised it as eg wifes iphone
but dosnt do for ipod..
any ideas cheers.

Normally a greyed out Wifi is a hardware failure, but with some of the problems I've seen with the upgrade to iOS 4 on 3G phones, I'm not convinced the problem/problems aren't related to software. I have two suggestions, neither of which are guaranteed to work: 1. Restore your phone as a "new" device in itunes & not from backup. But first delete any and all .ipsw files on your computer. This will force itunes to re-download the current OS. The .ipsw file can be found here:
OS X: ~/Library/iTunes/iPhone Software Updates
XP: C:\Documents and Settingsusername\Application Data\Apple Computer\iTunes\iPhone Software Updates
7 & Vista: C:\Usersusername\AppData\Roaming\Apple Computer\iTunes\iPhone Software Updates
You may have to turn on "show all hidden files" to find them.
Once done, reboot your computer, launch itunes, connect your phone & restore as "new". When finished, DO NOT SYNC, rather eject your phone & see if all is working properly. If it is, sync your content back to your phone. If not, proceed AT YOUR OWN RISK!
2. Try and downgrade to 3.1.3 from here:
http://www.felixbruns.de/iPod/firmware/
Note: Before you try this, bear in mind this is NOT endorsed by Apple & that you run the risk of making your phone inoperable.

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Ipod sync is greyed out after latest update and libary was wiped

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