IPod will only eject once ~ Grrrrrrrrrr!

I don’t know what’s going on with my little 60G 5th. I know I’ve read several-posted question regarding this topic but none seem to help me.
The disk-enabled box is not checked.
I’ve tried to uninstall the device and then reboot, waiting until iTunes opens (even tried to reload a fresh copy of iTunes), and then connecting. The first time around it works great, but then when I set up the photo options (or don't) it all turns to mud on the second attempt.
I’ll be completely honest. I did check the disk use box once, but then unchecked it…and ever since it’s been a nightmare. I just hate it when something like this just all of the sudden “happens”.
I’ve tried disabling firewalls, virus protection…I’ve tried everything I could think of—it’s now 7 hours later and my wife has about had it with me. Do you think it’s something hidden deep within some code that once you check that darn disk enable box that it doesn’t ever “uncheck”?
Help…can someone help me disconnect my iPod and reconnect with my iSpouse? (Actually I can handle the later…but any suggestions are welcome.)
Thanks.
HP Pavilion dv5000 Windows XP

Yes. Now that I’ve had a moment to allow my mind to clear…
What it is doing is following the normal protocol when I update the first time. The bell rings, the updating begins…and then it states that the updating is complete and that I can disconnect my iPod.
What it *is not* doing is, after I do any further updating/changes and then try to update the iPod: I connect the iPod. The updating begins…seems to run normally and then where it would normally end, the screen on the iPod will “flash” into the normal mode (as opposed to the don’t disconnect screen) and then return to the don’t disconnect screen, run for a good 90 seconds and then iTunes states the update is complete but doesn’t mention anything about removing the iPod. …and then I get the, what seems classic from all the posts I read, cannot remove device because it is used by other programs. I can’t remove it in iTunes. I can’t remove it through Windows. When I try to shut down the whole system locks on the shutdown screen…then I’m basically pulling the plug on the whole thing. When I reboot. Same thing. The initial marriage between iTunes and iPod ends in bliss…then the second attempt falls to pieces. It all started when I inadvertently checked the enable disk use, read the warning, and then canceled. I never actually enabled it…but just clicking that little box seemed to make everything go haywire.
HP Pavilion dv5000 Windows XP
HP Pavilion dv5000 Windows XP

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