Is it possible for a person to add your phone number into their imessage on an ipad without a notification popping up on your number?

I have a suspicion that someone has added my phone number into their imessage and can read all my texts with no notification sent to my phone.  Is it possible to add a phone number to your imessage without that device getting a notification?

I use multiple iOS devices at my house, on my two (phone and ipad) I have my family AppleID we use for all purchases as my iMessage userid, on my wifes iPad we made a new ID Just for her messaging and installed that.
When she sends me an IM I get it on both devices. When i send to her its only her ipad.
Jason

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