ITunes 10.2.1 Freezes while syncing music to iPhone 4 with iOS 4.3.1

I hooked up my iPhone 4 the other night to my computer to update it to the new iOS version 4.3.1. The entire time my iTunes would continually freeze and I would have to force quit it. Once I finally got it to stabilize I began to install the update with seemingly no problem. Then out of no where my phone slipped into recovery mode and it told me to restore it so that it could sync with iTunes. When I tried to restore it I received an error code 9 and iTunes informed me that a restore could not be completed. I ended up having to take it to a friend's house and restore on his iTunes without a hitch. I then came home and restored a back up with no trouble at all and had 4.3.1 on my phone. All was well until I realized no music synced.
Now when I try to sync music, I press the sync button and all goes well to begin with. The back up proceeds as normal. It transfers an app purchase that needs to be made and then the problem starts when it hits the music step. It begins syncing a song and then instantly iTunes freezes. The spinning arrows next to the device name stop and no progress is made whatsoever. I lose any kind of control over iTunes. In order to get it back I have to force quit it and restart it or manually disconnect my iPhone from the computer which is as we all know not healthy for it. Cancelling the sync from the phone does nothing at first but then after 15 minutes or so iTunes frees up again but never actually finishes the sync. It's stuck finishing it indefinitely. (In the time it took me to type all of this out and check it for errors it is still finishing indefinitely)
I have tried:
1) Restarting Computer
2) Updating iTunes to the newest version
3) Completely uninstalling and reinstalling all components of iTunes and Quicktime according to instructions from an article on Apple's support pages.
4) Restoring the phone to a back up again to fix any possible corruption
5) Checking only one song and trying to sync it to see if it was an quantity issue
6) Manually syncing music
7) Configuring Security Software
8) Disabling security software
and probably others. Nothing seems to be working. I am unsure if it is an issue with the phone or with the computer and iTunes. I have not tried a complete just all out restore with no back up because I am hesitant to lose all my contacts, SMS messages, and pictures with their saved locations and from what I have read that will get me no where unless I want a completely wiped phone that can't sync music.
I'm out of ideas here so any support from you guys would be much appreciated. I have seen that others are experiencing similar issues so it may be a problem with the combination of iTunes 10.2.1 and iOS 4.3.1. If nothing works I guess it's a $30 phone call to Apple Support. Then again I don't know if that would fix anything either. Hopefully somebody somehwere has an answer.
Thanks in advance,
HSZ

After updating iTunes to 10.2.2 it wiped out my iPhone, iPad and iPad2 and it will not restore on another pc in the house. I spent 6 hours restoring the iPhone but the iPad and iPad2 has taken 6 hours going thru every step in the support recommendations as well as 3 hours on the phone with 2 separate techs today.
I uninstalled and reinstalled, went thru with the tech and edited the registry as well as the msconfig. Rebooted the PC's, reinstalled, uninstalled all of the anti virus software and did a limited start-up, all to no avail.
You cannot reinstall the last working version of iTunes because the library is synced with a later version - so I have 2 dead devices.
Other friends are experiencing the same problem and I know of 2 dozen others experiencing the same issues.
Apple needs to fix the latest update of iTunes!

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I actually haven't seen the "Syncing Music to iphone" since the new ios update so im quite happy..
Here are the steps that I took to solve:
1. Turned off auto lock and password on iphone
2. After connecting iphone on the summary page the only three boxes I have checked are Automatically sync when iphone is connected, sync only checked songs and videos, manually manage music and videos
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Notes:On the iPhone: WiFi, Bluetooth, Cellular, personal Hotspot and VPN are all disabled. I use PC. I have about 5000 songs. I do not use Match.
Before today I was also having a disc space issue with a large block of "other". I deleted the music data from my iphone and that fixed that problem, however, the phone was still not syncing the majority (4800 of 5000) songs.
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