ITunes 10.2.2.12 will not detect my iPhone 3GS in Recovery or DFU mode

It started a couple weeks ago when I tried to upgrade from 4.2.1 to 4.3.1 when it would get stuck in the preparing iPhone for upgrade.  My computer sees the phone because I can see it connected via USB.  I've uninstalled and reinstalled iTunes and family per Apple's instructions under Troubleshooting iPhone.  If I connect the USB to a Virtual Machine under VMWare Workstation 7 it works no problem and this is how I updated to 4.3.1 and again to 4.3.2.  Now it's annoying and I want to try and resolve it.
iPhone 3GS
ASUS G73JW
Win 7 Pro x64
iTunes 10.2.2.12

I'm really at a loss here.  Just had to update to 4.3.3 using a virtual machine.  I've uninstalled everything apple, rebooted, ran ccleaner, rebooted, ran ccleaner again, rebooted, installed latest itunes x64, rebooted, tried to update and got error 1602 again.  Windows sees  the iphone in restore mode, tinyumbrella sees the iphone in restore mode and will exit restore mode for me.  I also updated to the latest version of vmware workstation 7.  I would really like to avoid formatting and reinstlling win 7.

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