Itunes 10.4.1 opens automatically. how to stop this?

This was never an issue before this last update.  I have always set iTunes to NOT open automatically when I plug in my iPod Touch but now I cannot seem to get it to stop.  Here's what I've tried:
In the summary tab of my device page in iTunes, the item "Open iTunes when this iPod is connected" is UNCHECKED and GREYED OUT.  But when I connect my iPod to either of my Windows 7 computers, the application starts automatically anyway.
I did some searching and someone pointed me toward the Preferences pages.  In the "devices" tab I have always checked the box "Prevent iPods, iPhones and iPads from syncing automatically.  Their suggestion was to uncheck this box (which made me nervous).  I did.  When returning to the summary tab of my device page the "Open iTunes when..." was checked.  I unchecked it and hit apply.  It asked me if I really wanted to delete all 114 applications from my iPod.  I chose "cancel".
I disconnected my iPod and shut down iTunes.
When I plugged in my iPod again, iTunes started automatically.
Does this mean I need to delete all my apps and music to get iTunes to NOT start automatically? 
And to repeat, this was never an issue until I installed the update to 10.4.1.  I had not changed any settings in iTunes.  All I did was install the update and this behaviour began.
Any help out there?
Thanks!

ITunes started opening automatically about every 30 seconds on my P.C. - I realised that the last thing I did when I connected my iPad to my PC (last time using my USB cable connection) was to put a "X" in the box that said "Sync using wifi".  I re-connceted my iPad by the cable  and I unchecked this box,  iTunes stopped opening automatically every 30 seconds.
My PC was obviously looking for my iPad by wifi every 30 seconds,

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