ITunes and Remote app not pairing

I'm having an incredibly frustrating problem with the Remote app and I'm wondering if anyone knows what to do.
The app has worked fine in the past. I've paired it to my iTunes library successfully and controlled it.
Recently, it has stopped working. When I try to re-pair it with iTunes, one of two things will happen:
1 - I will enter the passcode and iTunes will accept it, and then on the iPhone, I just get the spinning icon and then it times out. Most times when this happens, the library name on the iPhone is blank, even though I have a name set in iTunes. In the past, when this worked right, it had the right name; or
2 - I will enter the passcode in iTunes and it will get stuck on "Verifying Remote Passcode" in iTunes. Then it times out and I'm left with no connection.
So far, in attempting to solve the problem, I've:
+ installed the latest version of iTunes
+ deleted and reinstalled the Remote app on the iPhone
+ rebooted the iPhone and my iMac, and also reset the iPhone (hold down both buttons until the Apple logo appears).
+ changed the iMac's firewall settings to "set access to specific services and applications," added iTunes to the list, and set it to allow incoming connections
+ used the "Forget all remotes" option in the iTunes settings and then tried to pair again.
I've searched google and these message boards and found plenty of others with the same problem, but no real solution (some of the things I did above came from suggestions I saw in these other threads, but none of it worked for me).
The iTunes library and the iPhone are on the same network and in iTunes, the "Look for iPhone and iPod Touch Remotes" option is checked.
Any ideas? Thanks!

I really can't believe this question has not been answered yet. I'm having the exact same problem others have described. I posted on my blog regarding this issue with screen shots of the error I've been getting: http://ben.kwinix.com/blog/2009/11/20/oh-apple-what-does-this-mean/
My network is more complicated than most: I have an Airport Extreme running a 5 GHz 'N' network and a Netgear routher running a standard 'G' network. The Airport is the primary device and acts as the DHCP server; the Netgear is set up as an extender. I use the Airport to connect my iMac, MacBook, and Apple TV and the Netgear to connect my iPhone and any other 'G' devices that come into the house. All devices when connected to either router are provided an IP address by the Airport in the "10.0.1.x" format. Also, all devices say that the "router" is 10.0.1.1, which is the Airport.
When attempting to connect to any device on the network (either iTunes library or the Apple TV) with the Remote app from the iPhone, I typically get an error regarding a firewall or network settings. Everything is fully updated - latest versions of firmware, OSes, etc.
I've followed the steps outlined in an Apple support article (http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1741) without success. Someone out there has to have an answer!

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