Itunes cannot see iPad2

This is driving me Nuts!!
I bought an iPad last year, and loved it for the 8 Hours I had it, then gave it as a Gift totthe Child in an attempt to stop him destroying computers!
It worked, no more busted computers & laptops, bith PC & Mac!!
So I thought about it and decided to wait for the iPad 2 for myself. Everybody was very impressed by it, and everything seemed to be going well... Until!!!!!
the IOS 4.3 Update and the iTunes Update to 10.2.? all of a sudden the iPad will not connect to iTunes, not every time (that would be too easy!), Plug the ipad in and it instantly connects to the computer, you can go in and look at the pictures on the device. But open itunes and Itunes locks up, you cannot even move it around the screen, until you unplug the iPad, then it responds moves etc. Plug in the iPad again and iTunes once more locks up, but the computer allows you to go onto the ipad and open up pictures on it.
You have to plug and unplug the iPad 4 - 7 times before it appears in the iTunes and iTunes allowws you to use it for updating the iPad.
The iPhone / iPod both connect first time every time, but if you connect the iPhone first, then the iPad Normally connects either on the First or second Attempt.
The computer was built using the Gigabyte x58-UD7 mainboard, specifically for the iPad / iPhone / iPod. It's got high Power USB's and has Offline Charging capabilities, and the 40% extra power on the USB's have the iPad in mind.
I have tried switching the USB ports, to No Avail, connect the iPhone it connects, On the same USB Port and Lead, Eject the iPhone and connect the iPad, No connection, Reconnect the iPhone Connection.
Now try it on another cable and Port, same result, Now another port, Same result.
Leave the iPhone connected, the iPad connects on another port in one or two attempts.
Before the Updates everything worked well.
I then tried to uninstall everything (including Windows) Messed up and forgot to De-Autherise so my fault there, Same results as to the connecting.
Further updates from Apple came in, and they made no difference at all, in Fact they made the ipad even worse at connecting. So once more I am pulling my hair out!
is there something that I am overlooking, or is this a common occurance of late.
The last time I had problems updating was on my iPhone 3G.... That forced me to move tot he iPhone 4 earlier than I wanted to, Trouble is there is no Upward Upgrade on the Hardware this time as this is the latest biggest iPad2.
The main worry I have now, is that I am going to do an update, and when it comes time for the iPad to reconnect to iTunes to complete its update, its not going to and Kill it!!! memories of the iPone 3G

Have you tried restoring the iPad as a new device, then resyncing it?
Go to Settings, General, Reset, Erase all content and settings.
Warning, this makes the iPad out-of-box condition. All data and apps are deleted.

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