ITunes does not connect to my iPhone

Does anyone else have a probelm with iTunes not detecting their iPhone - either through wi-fi connection or when connected through a USB cable?  My computer currently uses Windows 7 and I have had SERIOUS issues with the USB ports - which is why I think iTunes doesn't acknowledge my phone when it's plugged in - heck, my computer doesn't even acknowledge my phone.
I've tried connecting my iPhone to my computer through my wi-fi network but although the phone shows up in the control panel, it isn't fully functional -  declares it requires "troubleshooting"; all the while, my phone continues to try to connect to my computer, but never does.  This goes on for about 10 minutes then I get a message on my phone "Software Update Failed  An error occurred downloading iOS5.1."  Then i can either click "close" or "settings".
So, I can't update to iOS 5.1 because I can't get my computer to connect with my phone.  This is probably a Microsoft or windows problem, but thought I would ask in case anyone else has the same factors and issues.
Thanks!

Refer to this article Section 4:
iOS: Device not recognized in iTunes for Windows
http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1538

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