Itunes have deleted songs in library; cannot download; cannot understand previous comments.

Sob Story: My mother just died. I want to listen to my songs on my iPhone to destress myself. However, itunes has deleted half my playlist on my Mac. I went to my library. I did lots of searching for hours; I read all the comments here - half of them I don't understand.Too much talk; too little help. I tried dragging albums to itunes - NO!. Half of the songs in my so called library have weird names  - not the previous song titles. I dont know what has happened. I have not changed software, updated anything, changed anything etc. There are more songs on my iphone that are not now in itunes so I can't even sync because then I will lose the precious songs I DO want to listen to. I really can't cope with this. I read someone saying they will buy a huge MP3 player and download songs the old fashioned way and others laugh - but you know what? When your mother dies, he will be laughing and itunes users... I hate Apple SO much right now.
If anyone has a really simple solution for an IT dummy (funnily enough I was quite clever on the old IT front until this happened) please spell out. Do not say: go to library, do this with file blah blah -- I have tried it all and plus, there are dozens of itune library files...

It's very simple. I turned on my MacBook Pro, went to itunes and noticed half of my songs were missing, albums etc. I looked online and people said go to X folder i.e. itunes library etc etc... But when I go there, there are dozens of folders all with the same name. I tried all the techniques, dragging, dropping, from A to B, but no good. Then I found a Music Folder - great I thought, as all my albums seemed to be there. But when I looked at them all the tracks have weird names (i.e. they have lost their titles) and they could not be dropped into iTunes. I never buy anything from ITunes so all my albums are ones I bought on CD and downloaded. By MP3 Player I mean, one of those old fashioned devices where you can just manually drop albums into, that don't bother synching, unlike the ipod on my iphone which now contains completely different albums and tracks than in the itunes on my Macbook Pro meaning I can no longer sync. To be honest I've now given up but thanks for your response.

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