ITunes / iPod/iPhone Syncing w/Leopard and two laptops

My wife and I have quite an extensive iTunes library, with both music and purchased TV Shows / Movies. We have also moved almost to a complete mobile platform, I have a MBP and she has a MB.
Problem is, our iTunes library is so huge it won't fit on each of our laptops (and I even upgrade my MBP to a 320GB drive).
Seeing as iTunes wants to have the files local to sync with each of our iPhones, this poses a problem.
I was wondering if there was any way with Leopard server or any other method of essential doing the following (PS I have a PM G5 with 3TB of storage this would work out great with)....
Have an iTunes server sharing music/movies/tv shows, etc... each of our laptops able to point to it, not only to play, but to sync each of our devices, we each have an iPhone and at least two iPods). That way the files could be stored in one location, we could sync up our iPhones and not have duplicated files wasting space. Would like to be able to do this with Podcasts too.
It would be even better if we could click on a playlist and hit sync, and it would pull it down from the server and "sync" that playlist to the iTunes library on the laptop, in case we were on a business trip and wanted to watch a movie/tv show on our laptop instead of the iPhone.
If anyone has any hints or ideas to get this completely or partially it would be appreciated.
Thanks!
P.S. AppleTV is on it's way, so plug that variable in there too.

Are you using a version of iTunes at least that indicated by the teeny-tiny print in medium gray on light gray on the side of the box?
iPhone, iPad, iPod touch: Device not recognized in iTunes for Mac OS X - http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1591

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