Itunes isn't letting me manually add files or sync any checked songs

I'm checking 'manually manage music and videos'.  Then I go to music and try to click 'sun music' but this pop up appears:
Are you sure you want to remove existing music, movies.... and tones form this iPhone and sync with this iTunes library'.  I click 'Remove and sync'.
'Sync music' is check and 'selected playlists....geners' is too.
Some 'artists' are checked and I click 'apply.  Then the added music GB is added to the coloured bar at the bottom - I click sync and it runs through the sync 'steps' at the top. But then the GB of files in the coloured bar at the bottom goes back to how it was and the 'manually manage music and videos' is now un-checked.
Help!   Along with this and a Back up which chose to leave off about 3.8GB I'm a bit pee'd off!

Oh, I just found manually dragging and dropping songs from my iTunes library works for my iPod... I guess I'll be using that.

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